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Like... naked in bed.

Public Service Announcement - Bullying

BULLYING. This is a subject that is very important, an increasingly huge problem and yet met with a blind-eye so often.

Last week, my step-sister’s son, who was just 13 years old, committed suicide. He was being bullied at school, so his answer to his pain, fear and confusion was to take a gun and shoot himself in the head. This tragedy is unspeakable.

I sit here feeling so helpless because I don’t know what I can possibly do to help. Time is the only thing that helps those who have to heal, and oh my god does it take a long time to even begin to feel like there’s a glimmer of some normalcy in your life. (I lost my father to suicide almost 14 years ago and it took every ounce of effort and will to not let it break me. And then the years pass and it very slowly begins to get better. Very slowly.) The pain that suicide survivors must contend with is unfathomable.

So, what can I do? Share this story. Talk about it. It seems to me that people don’t talk enough about the hurt, the difficult things, the uncomfortable things in life…the shit that really matters at the time it matters most. So I sit here and write…and hopefully it will make a difference to even just one person who will in turn make a difference to yet another and so on. One can only hope, I suppose.

Maybe it’s a lofty idea to think that you can ever put a stop to all the bad in the world. Maybe there will always be bullies. But, don’t they say there is power in numbers? Isn’t it possible to think that enough of the good guys can come together and make a difference? And I don’t even mean just school-aged children. What about parents, older siblings, faculty, other trusted adults?

Many of you that might happen upon this may have children near his age, or they will be someday soon. While I like to think that most children have the compassion and love to never be the bully, I also want to know that those same kids are also brave enough to be the voice for the ones who can’t seem to find their own.

Who gets bullied? The shy kids. The introverts. The weird ones, the skinny ones, the ones who are a bit different and maybe don’t go along with the crowd. They are perhaps already carrying such a heavy load of ‘not fitting in’. And while they might have so many people to turn to, they simply might not see the option. For whatever reason they turned out to be the meek child instead of the captain of the football team, they are who they are…and so they happen to need a stronger, more confident touchstone who isn’t afraid of the bully or at the very least isn’t afraid to tell someone more capable of handling the situation. Sometimes it’s the smallest effort or just a few words spoken to the right person that can make all the difference in the world. We all have to be aware of this power we have.

The other day, another nephew of mine, who is 7-years old, was inadvertently taking up a little too much room in a small space being shared by several people. An older gentleman gently put his hands on my nephew’s shoulders and asked him very kindly if he could move over a bit. His spitfire, 4-year old younger brother saw this and immediately yelled at the man, “HEY, GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BROTHER!!!” While it was pretty hilarious, this action also struck something in me. I realize that there is NO doubt in my mind that this 4-year old will be the voice. For his brother, for his friends, and hopefully for those kids who aren’t necessarily even the “friends” he hangs out with at school.

The very sad thing about this tragedy is that now is when it seems kids are starting to speak up. After the fact. A sweet little girl even made a video about this horrible tragedy and posted it online, talking about how bad bullying can be and how it has to be addressed. Her gesture is of course appreciated and yet heart-wrenching at the same time.

Please, please talk to your kids, and if you don’t have kids, your friend’s kids, your nieces and nephews, check in with them, see what’s going on. Help them see and practice compassion for everyone, even and especially those who are different. If you see that quality in them to be a stand for others, nurture it, honor it, help them to understand how important and truly powerful it is.

Thank you,

Alexis

  1. nccyphilly reblogged this from nakedinbed
  2. ummagumma- said: Very important message.
  3. nonplussedbyreligion reblogged this from nakedinbed
  4. nakedinbed posted this